Angles, possibilities, and paths

how not to be consumed by life #108

In the cool, rumbling interior of a train making its way down to London, I find myself absorbed in introspection. The ambient sounds of coughs punctuating the quiet carriage space and the staccato rhythm of fingers pounding mercilessly on a nearby keyboard strike a somewhat discordant note, sparking reflections about life and human behaviour. Our world is overburdened with angles, possibilities, and paths — a vast labyrinth of experiences, each one as unique and complex as the individual who navigates it.

We frequently ask ourselves 'why?' Why do people engage in the actions they do? What drives our own decisions? What grand design, if any, underlies the entirety of our existence? Despite its frustration, the persistent mystery of the human condition is a fascinating subject of contemplation.

Leafing through the latest issue of The Guardian Weekly, the harsh realities of life glare back at me from the print. Strife seems to be an inextricable part of our world, whether man-made or driven by the merciless hand of nature. It's a sobering truth, one that's essential to acknowledge without letting it monopolise our emotional landscape. An article on the rising trend of podcasting captures my attention. It seems our collective fascination is drawn towards comedy, serial dramas, and celebrities. The parasocial dynamic that develops between the podcaster and the listener intrigues me.

I shift my attention to the latest issue of Psychologies. I'm captivated by a piece on the circle of control model. It puts forth a simple but profound concept: concentrate your energies on what you can control to minimise your anxiety. This strikes a chord with me, dovetailing perfectly into the question that has been hovering in my mind — how to be an active participant in life without being consumed by it?

To be "consumed by life" is to be ensnared in its incessant hustle, often leaving one feeling overwhelmed by its manifold demands, responsibilities, and complications. It's the point at which work, personal issues, and daily duties cast a long, daunting shadow over one's mental and emotional health, leaving little room for self-care, leisure, or the simple joy of doing nothing. It's the teetering edge where life, in all its relentless rush, feels chaotic, leaving one gasping for a sense of equilibrium. Reflecting on this as the English countryside zips past my window, I ponder how best to straddle this delicate balance.

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The tumultuous ebb and flow of life has a way of pulling us under, a swirling whirlpool of ambitions, responsibilities, disappointments, and victories. Living, truly living, is not about surrendering to this whirlpool. Rather, it is about learning to swim within it without being swallowed whole. It's about carving out your own path in this vast ocean, one where you can keep your head above water while simultaneously absorbing the beauty of the waves. But how does one go about this delicate balancing act without being consumed by life?

To begin, you must recognise that you are not defined solely by the world around you. You are an amalgamation of your dreams, experiences, hopes, fears, and choices. You are more than your job, your social status, your failures, or even your successes. Embrace this realisation. With this knowledge, you will find freedom. So open the door and step into the house of self-awareness. Look around. What do you see? Maybe there are cobwebs in the corners or dusty curtains obscuring the light. Or perhaps the rooms are neat, clean, yet sterile and devoid of personality. Use this introspection as a tool and as the first step in avoiding being consumed by life.

Once you have established a solid understanding of your inner self, it's time to cultivate boundaries. Think of boundaries as the walls of your house. They provide structure and limit external influence. Society is a torrent of expectations and demands that can quickly consume your sense of self, but boundaries act as a dam, tempering this torrent into a manageable stream. However, be mindful that these walls should not turn into impenetrable barriers. Instead, they should have windows and doors that allow you to engage with life on your own terms.

Now, consider building resilience, a critical element in navigating life's turbulent waters. Resilience is your life raft; it keeps you afloat when storms try to pull you under. This quality doesn't come overnight; it's forged through hardships and difficulties. Embrace the discomfort these adversities bring. Each one is a lesson that contributes to your growth and fortitude. With resilience, you'll find that life's blows don't knock you down; they merely rock your boat.

Despite its importance, resilience alone isn't enough. You must also cultivate a space for joy, an oasis amidst the desert of responsibilities. In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it's easy to forget the importance of simple pleasures. However, these moments of delight are the thread that weaves the fabric of our existence together. Whether it's the crisp bite of an apple on a sunny day, the laughter shared with friends, or the quiet calm of a book at bedtime, small joys make big lives. Make room for these moments. Savour them. Let them colour your days.

Moreover, one cannot navigate the sea of life without a compass. This compass is your purpose. When you align your actions and decisions with your purpose, you don't merely exist in life; you live it. Your purpose is the lighthouse in the distance, the North Star guiding you through rough seas. It may take time to find it, but once you do, your path becomes clearer and your voyage more meaningful.

Another fundamental step in being part of life without being consumed by it is practicing mindfulness. It is the anchor that steadies you in the present moment, grounding you amidst life's tumultuous waves. When you're mindful, you're fully engaged in the now, neither regretting the past nor anxious about the future. Life becomes a dance, and mindfulness is your rhythm. The world continues to spin, but you are no longer spinning with it. You are steady and anchored in the moment.

Lastly, embrace imperfection. Life isn't about chasing a flawless existence but about finding beauty in the flawed, the irregular, and the real. This acceptance of imperfection will open up a new way of looking at life, where success isn't measured by societal standards but by your own sense of fulfillment and contentment. After all, it's the little cracks and crevices that let the light in.

Being a part of life without being consumed by it is a dance of balance. It requires knowing yourself, setting boundaries, building resilience, finding joy, discovering your purpose, practicing mindfulness, and embracing imperfection. With these steps, you can navigate the swirling currents of life with grace, strength, and wisdom. You become not a passive passenger but an active participant, one who immerses themselves in the depths of life without being pulled under. Life is an ocean, deep and vast. Swim, don't drown. Dive, but remember to come up for air.

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