the age-old quest to bend time, the soul, dance floors, becky's tale, and the four horsemen of personal development
here's where the path ends and the magic begins #123
Caden: I don’t know what I’m doing.
Clare: Knowing that you don’t know is the most essential step to knowing. You know?
the age-old quest to bend time
…to set things right—or, at least, more favourable to our whims and wants. The very thought of changing the present to steer the future sounds like the plot of a sci-fi film, doesn’t it? Back to the Future comes to mind, where Marty McFly grapples with the fabric of time only to realise how intricate and delicate it is. Or maybe it’s more like Octavia Butler’s Kindred where history’s weight pulls you back even as you struggle to move forward. Different mediums, same preoccupation: time’s hold over us, the paths we forge, the choices we make.
Choice, Chance, and Change
Choice: we’re always making them, even when we’re not.
Chance: is just another roll of the dice, ever hopeful that our 11’s and 7’s don’t come up 6’s and 9’s
Change: is the only constant, as the cliché goes, yet so elusive when we need it most.
These three C’s circulate in my thoughts like constellations in a midnight sky, seemingly unconnected but shaping the landscape of everything I know.
So, can we change the present to change the future?
Yes. And no. It’s a paradox, like Schrödinger’s cat. Until you open the box, the cat is both alive and dead. In the same way, the act of changing the present both does and does not change the future.
The Greek philosopher Heraclitus famously noted that you can’t step into the same river twice. The water’s changed, and so have you. By merely existing, you’ve altered the current of life. But there’s a difference between passive change—change that happens to you—and active change—change that you initiate.
Consider the butterfly effect, a concept rooted in chaos theory and popularised by Edward Lorenz. He observed that the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil could set off a tornado in Texas. Small actions have rippling consequences. We see it in pop culture. Charlie Kaufman’s Synecdoche, New York explores a life spiralling in odd directions based on the smallest of decisions. So does the Black Mirror episode Bandersnatch, where you, the viewer, control the narrative. The stakes feel high even when the choices appear trivial.
2.
Pour tea or spill it.
Say “I love you” or hold your tongue.
Take the job or start your own thing.
Every decision is a domino. Some fall predictably. Others veer off, striking tiles you didn’t even know were in play. That’s the gamble, the excitement, and the terror.
I think of my own decisions, sometimes made on whims, that changed the direction of my life. With my notebook in hand and my head filled with Montaigne-style ponderings, I started yet another blog. And just like that, paths untrodden revealed themselves. My new platform became a connection to the world, a stage where my ideas could dance and tango with other humans.
To change the present to change the future, we don’t need a time machine or a magic wand. All we need is intentionality, the conscious act of making a choice. Of taking a chance. Of embracing change.
It’s not just about leaping into the unknown. It’s about acknowledging the ground beneath our feet and recognising its potential to shift. It’s about being aware that even as we read, think, and reflect, neurons are firing, paradigms are shifting, and somewhere—in an unnoticed corner of our existence—the future is quietly rewriting itself.
So yes, change the present. Whether it changes the future is a story yet to be written. But at least you’ll be the one holding the pen.
what does a soul need?
i’ve been pondering what a soul needs.
What else would you add to this list?
dance floor
Life is like a big dance floor where everyone's trying to find their groove. From the get-go, society hands us a script on how to move, shaped by family traditions, cultural norms, and the like. It's a well-worn routine, passed down from older generations, and you've got this invisible crowd of societal expectations watching your every step, cheering when you follow the script, and going silent when you don't.
But deep down, there's this unique beat—a kind of personal music that wants to break free. It's about chasing after what really matters to you, unscripted and unchoreographed by the world. And there comes a point when you might just brave it out and dance to your own rhythm, putting on a solo show that's all about the real you, even if it goes against the grain.
The tricky part is that life often turns into a dance-off between following the script and moving to your own beat. It's a back-and-forth, trying to find a sweet spot between fitting in and standing out. Sometimes, you manage to find a graceful middle ground where you can be yourself within the broader script of society. Other times, it feels like a stumble, as the loud demands of fitting in drown out your own rhythm.
But as you keep dancing, the crowd watching you begins to change too. With every bold step you take towards being authentic, you might just see a shift in what's cheered for or accepted. And as the dance goes on, you leave behind your own legacy, setting the stage for others to maybe find their own groove a bit easier.
The dance never really ends; with every new face on the dance floor, the struggle to balance personal authenticity with societal acceptance continues. It's a timeless quest, a story of individual courage in facing the loud demands of society, and maybe, over time, nudging society to a point where it celebrates, not stifles, the unique rhythm in each one of us.
makes me pause and think about my own life. Through her experiences, I see a reflection of my own choices. Although her story seems like a small drop in the big ocean of life, it makes waves in how we traditionally think, encouraging us to take a moment, reflect, and maybe even change the way we live.
1. Being
The Act: embrace who you are.
The Reflection: Is your title a refuge or a cage?
2. Becky’s Brave New World
The Choice: dissecting the orthodox, opting for the road less traversed.
The Ripple: Her courage resonates. How many Beckys lurk among us, masked by the facade of conformity?
3. Reflections from a Mirror of the Past
The Dichotomy: a life adorned with military discipline versus a heart yearning for unscripted adventures.
The Compromise: West Point, a paradoxical choice—a structured path to freedom.
4. Conformity: A Chameleon
The Unseen Chains: Marriage, a home, a steady job—silent notes of a melody of conformity.
The Rebellion: Even in orchestrated lives, the spirit of non-conformity finds its way. Weekends and holidays become the canvas of adventure, a small escape, and a fleeting breath of freedom.
5. The Balance
The Mature Compromise: Fulfilling roles, while retaining a zest for the unordinary.
The Reflection: Has the balance tilted or found its harmonious mean?
6. A Continued Journey
The Unveiling: 22 years post-corporate cocoon, the freelance life.
The Evolving Self: Not a static entity but a stream, carving its way, sometimes against the odds, at times along with the tides.
the four horsemen of personal development
🥷 Passion
That's the spark, isn't it? Milan Kundera, in The Unbearable Lightness of Being, talks about kitsch as the absolute denial of shit; it excludes everything that is unacceptable. Passion is the opposite of kitsch—it's life with all the messy bits included, the highs and lows not sanitised for your protection. Passion is what makes you stay up until 3 a.m., scribbling ideas on a crumpled napkin, your eyes bloodshot but twinkling.
🥷 Plan
It brings to mind Dwight D. Eisenhower's quote: "Plans are useless, but planning is indispensable." Paradoxical, I know. You lay down tracks for your passion train, but sometimes the journey takes you off the rails. Isn't that part of the thrill? A plan is both a roadmap and a straightjacket. It guides, yet it can bind. The art is in knowing when to let either go.
🥷 Persistency
Now there's a word. It brings to mind the Sisyphean task of pushing that boulder up a hill. Albert Camus told us Sisyphus was happy. I've always wondered about that. Is he happy because he persists, or does he persist because he's happy? It's the P that sometimes feels like a vice grip, but it's also the one that carries you through the darkest valleys.
🥷 Performance
Is the stage where it all plays out. But whose applause are we seeking? That of the world, or the silent nod from our inner self? Cal Newport talks about "deep work" as the ability to focus without distraction on a cognitively demanding task. Performance is the exhibition of that deep work, a balancing act between self and society, between aspiration and actualisation.
The to-do's...
☑ Wake up!
☑️ Feel the passion stir your limbs.
☑️ Consult the plan etched in your optimism.
☑️ Persist in spite of the coffee stain on your shirt.
☑️ Perform!
☑️ Repeat!
We live in a world full of listicles—"5 Ways to Unleash Your Passion" or "10 Steps to a Perfect Performance." But these four P's aren't checkboxes; they're more like recurring themes in the epic poem of your life.
So, as I sit here, pondering these four P's, the words of Zadie Smith echo in my mind: "The past is always tense, the future perfect." We mix and match these P's, adjusting the doses, hoping to perfect our future. A dash of passion here, a sprinkle of planning there. It's a recipe, yes, but one that's always in the making.
I invite you to step into this messy kitchen of life. Because the four P's, like ingredients, might sit inanimate on the counter, but it's the cook who brings them together to create something delectable, or sometimes, just palatable. Either way, the act of cooking, like the act of living, brings its own rewards.
So, what's cooking in your kitchen?
OK! I think this is a good place to end today. I have a lot of things cooking in my kitchen at the moment, which I’ll share with you in due time. For now, just know that I feel the universe aligning in my favour. and egging me on to the next evolution of Clay.
As always, I welcome any thoughts, comments, or observations you may have and are ok to share either publicly in the comments or by replying to this email for a little one-on-one dialogue.
Till our narrative threads intertwine again, online or in person, take care. The universe has a way of making sure our threads always bring us back to something, someone, or ourselves.
Peace out,
Clay.